


Stupid

by Holo_Bayliss



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-04
Updated: 2011-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-25 17:10:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holo_Bayliss/pseuds/Holo_Bayliss





	Stupid

Title: Stupid  
Author: Bayliss  
Rating: R  
Fandom: Red Dwarf  
Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf, Doug Naylor and Rob Grant do. I make no money. I am simply borrowing the characters, tormenting them and giving them back tied up in Japanese bondage rope. _Oh Gods, did I say that out loud? *But Mr Grant and Mr. Naylor, Lister helped me tie up Rimmer. He really did. Rimmer even suggested it. HE DID! REALLY. Just ask him. *_  
Pairings: implied one sided Rimmer/Lister.  
Spoilers: Hell, why are you reading this if you haven't seen the show? and If you haven't, WHY THE HELL NOT?  
Synopsis: Rimmer realizes he's in love with someone.  
Warnings: Um it's R. If you can't get into an R rated movie, don't read this.  
 _Note: Be kind... Seriously..._

 

This whole hard light body thing was getting to him. He spent hours running his fingers over the boilers in the engine room, burning himself on at least three occasions just to try out the pain responses Legion had spoken about. Skirting his fingers over the curve over the boiler closest to himself and leaning down to just get close enough to smell the engine grease and WD-40. Breathing it in, it caused a strange reaction, a thuwump, in the pit of his stomach, for some reason it was making him think of someone. Someone, in his mind, he had no reason to be thinking of. His mind drifted to thoughts of the man's fingers, short and stubby, touching him at dinner when he had asked him to pass the salt. The touch almost made Rimmer consider leaping out of his chair and forcing Lister to the table, just to lick the damned curry sauce off Lister's chin.

He slowly stood and considered walking back to their shared quarters. But he couldn't bring himself to walk into their room after looking down and spotting a rather erect problem in his rather tight trousers. Frankly, he knew it would be difficult to walk that far with THAT problem in his trousers anyway, he'd done it only because he had had to when he was alive.

He wondered how just thinking of Lister's damn stubby fingers could have caused this problem to begin with, when he felt the thuwump in his gut yet again. Looking down and seeing the problem getting harder, he considered going into the small area off the engine room and taking care of said problem before someone decided he needed to come looking for him. He knew Lister would eventually. Thuwump. Just the thought of him saying his name was making him react.

The annex room had a small recessed area which had, at one point, been a tool bench and, thankfully, there was a chair. Rimmer slowly sat in the chair, looking around guiltily, spoke softly for the door to lock. He heard the satisfying click of the door mechanism locking and sighed. Reaching into his trousers he felt his palm hot against his member, wondering what it would feel like if Lister was stroking him. A moan slipped from his mouth, breaths coming in pants, thinking of Lister licking his chest and kissing him hard. Not soft gentle kissed, like Nirvanah had given him. No, the hard lust filled ones that he had imagined or had seen people giving each other when walking down the hall back to his quarters on the Dwarf. Lister's tongue invading his mouth, licking the inside of his, moaning his name as he came.

Rimmer lifted his head and looked at the sorry state he was in. His trousers were stained with white specks of what he knew was hologramatic cum and his right hand was sticky with that same substance. With a soft thump and a quick switch to soft light, he went from dishevelled to perfectly back together. The only thing that that quick shift could not fix was the slight feeling of shame he felt. Rimmer wondered if maybe he should say something to Lister. He got up, unlocked the door, and headed for the main part of the 'bug, with full intentions of telling Lister exactly how he felt. Confessing that he wanted to bugger the man until they both couldn't walk. That, in some ways, he was certain that he was in love with him and that he wanted to know that Lister felt the same way.

Rimmer's sanity got the better of him when he heard Lister and the Cat complaining about him as he approached the main body of the 'bug. He turned and headed to the sleeping quarters. Perhaps he'd forget these feelings in the morning. He knew better. Lister would and could never love him. He didn't understand why his brain was thinking these things. he laid down slowly on his bunk and looked down at the growing erection in his trousers again.

 _Smegging Lister ruins everything._


End file.
